I'm Obviously Doing Something Wrong With This Website

My Readers--I used to call you "my Beloved Readers", but now I'm not so certain that is an appropriate term--I recently reviewed the January statistics for search terms that brought people to my website and have found the results to be at least somewhat disheartening....

• 6% of the searches were spread out over a variety of terms.
  
• 3% were for "Hugh Jackman".
  
• 2% were various nudity related searches.
  
• 1% were for "Jessica Menn".
  
• .5% were for "Bono".
  
• .5% were for "broken glass".
  
• .5% were for "grograman".
  
• .5% were for "Matt Drudge".
  
• .5% were for "metrosexuality".
  
• .5% were for "nuclear explosions".
  
• .5% were for the movie Powder.
  
• .5% were for sister-themed erotica.
  
• and a whopping 84% of the searches that brought people to my website were for images of naked children.

There you have it. JessicaMenn.com is now officially a den of iniquity.

In a previous post, I mistakenly placed the blame for this set of circumstances on Tarzan's bronzed, well-oiled shoulders; however, upon further review, I realize that the blame is entirely the fault of Dallas Anderson and the sculpture he made for Appleton's City Park. That statue, entitled "Ring Dance", has consistently made my A-Town travel guide the single most visited page on my entire website.

I weep copious tears of shame.

People, people, people, how can I make you understand? THERE ARE NO PICTURES OF NAKED CHILDREN ON THIS WEBSITE!!!! NOT A SINGLE SOLITARY ONE!!!! PAEDOPHELIA IS COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY WRONG AND IMMORAL AND I AM ASHAMED THAT PEOPLE ARE COMING TO MY WEBSITE SEARCHING FOR CHILD PORNOGRAPHY!!!!

Thank you, I hope that clears things up.