Rebekah's Dream[y] House

It has been a goodly time since I last wrote. I must admit, I was a bit ticked off when I learned that a majority of the people who come to my website are searching for child porn. However, Sister Rebekah has on more than one occasion in the last month asked me when I was going to write something new, and, for that reason, I feel compelled to soldier on. More than that, I have decided to dedicate this blog entry to her.

As you may or may not be aware, Rebekah and I hold sharply differing views on what makes men attractive.

When she sees pictures of men I like...

...she immediately shrieks in horror and decries their age and the asymmetry of their faces.

When I see pictures of men she likes...

...I sigh, roll my eyes, and tell her that, while they're not unattractive, they're faces are too bland, boring and stereotypical to be truly appealing.

With that foundation is it any wonder that I was surprised when I popped in a House, M.D. DVD and heard her squeal at the sight of the titular character.

"His eyes are sooo blue!" she gushed. "And his hands are so..." Her voice trailed off in a little giggle.

"I can't believe how unkempt he is!" I declared in shock. "The least he could do is shave his neck."

"I love his shoes...and his cane." She sighed in delight. "Look at how he spins it around in his fingers!"

"My God!" I cried in horror as I watched him browbeat a patient into accepting some very dubious medical treatment. "I can't believe he's doing that! I would never want him as my doctor. How can he continue practicing? He's the most unethical doctor ever!"

"He's so forceful," Rebekah murmured, her voice trembling with emotion.

"He's a drug addict!"

"But he's in pain. His leg hurts him all the time. It's sooo sad," Rebekah countered, then added, "I like his legs; he has sexy legs."

"My God! Oh, my God!" I cried his horror, as his drug addiction was pushed from my attention by new concerns. "He's got a hooker! He's sleeping with a hooker!"

"But she's a high class hooker," Rebekah pointed out. "He has good taste."

But I think Rebekah's feelings for Dr. House can best be illustrated by the following, entirely true, unexaggerated, and unembellished, exchange:

"'House vs. God'," I said, reading the title of one of the episodes.

Rebekah giggled, "I hope House wins."

And with that, I think Rebekah has officially forfeited any moral standing she might have had to criticize my taste in men.